


The Legend of Big Peepee [Translation]

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: ? - Freeform, Castration, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, M/M, Tragedy, Translation, chinese to english translation, creative usage of penis, it's pure crack, nsfw in many ways, original work is saved on webarchive which is linked, technically it isn't supposed to be available anymore, who would have thought big dicks could go this wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Copy of original work:https://web.archive.org/web/20171013183348/http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=1206098MC had a 3m long dick. What happens next would shock you.
Relationships: Gongjun/Xiaoshou
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Peepee ver

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [大JJ的传说](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/612778) by superpanda. 



> Names meanings:  
> Gongjun - chinese pun for Mr Dick  
> Xiaoshou - chinese pun for affectionate way to call someone a bottom  
> See: chapter two for the version where I use dick instead of peepee

Gongjun had a huge peepee.

Maybe you would say that all tops have big peepees, that there are more big dicks in the world than there are cucumbers. But, this peepee of Gongjun was different. It was, even more, way more, robust.

This peepee was three meters long under normal conditions, and Gong Jun usually had to wrap it around his waist, three entire rounds.

This has both its pros and cons. Let us list two examples each to prove this point.

One time, Gongjun and his bottom named Xiaoshou, lost his house key. It was then that Xiaoshou suddenly remembered that the second floor windows in their bungalow were unlocked. And so Gongjun said to Xiaoshou, let’s do it. Xiaoshou rubbed Gongjun’s peepee from the start to end, like wiping a water pipe. Gongjun’s peepee became even thicker and longer, Xiaoshou sat on the peepee, squeezed his cheeks tight, and as Gongjun who was holding his own peepee yelled ‘UP!!!’, Xiaoshou was very quickly pushed onto the second floor. A troublesome problem was solved just like this. Whenever Xiaoshou was free, his favourite game was Flying Peepee Chairs. He sat on Gongjun’s peepee, spinning around and around, soaring high up above, like a happy little bird.

There was this other time when Xiaoshou’s ring fell in between the gaps of some equipment and the wall, and had no idea what to do, and therefore he found Gongjun. Gongjun tried to stick in all sorts of thin and narrow items, but the equipment was too big, and he still couldn’t reach it. Gongjun was silent for a while, and then he said: ‘Go lock the doors, there is nothing that’s this long. Looks like we can only use my peepee.” And so, yet another troublesome problem was solved like this.

What follows would be the cons of this big peepee.

And there was this other time, Gongjun and Xiaoshou went on a rollercoaster ride at the amusement park. What Gongjun did not foresee was that he did not wrap his peepee tight enough. At a giant drop, his peepee came loose! Gongjun’s giant peepee broke free of its reigns. As the rollercoaster went up and down in its journey, his peepee also flopped left and right, and ended up hitting many people! Gongjun felt a little hurt. Thus, he kept his peepee back with great difficulty on the rollercoaster, and hugged it in a bundle close to his chest, and completed this arduous journey. When he came down, it was Xiaoshou who used his bag to block Gongjun’s front, and let him enter the toilets.

The last story was the ending for Gongjun and Xiaoshou.

After some time, Gongjun discovered that his peepee had grown again. There wasn’t enough space in the house to go around for Xiaoshou too. And so, he bought a new bungalow, and got people to remove all inner walls, such that all rooms are connected. Even the toilet and the kitchen was removed. The day the bungalow only had one room, Gongjun pulled Xiaoshou over to him for some good time in excitement. However, just as their business went half way through, he heard a rumbling noise, and the roof collapsed. ——Turns out, Gongjun broke the supporting wall. His mind was blank as he watched Xiaoshou, who was buried under the rubbles. His only thought was to get to his side as soon as possible. But he couldn’t. His giant peepee got in his way. He only ran a few steps before his giant peepee reached the wall behind Xiaoshou, and he could no longer go a step closer to him. Gongjun was anxious, very very anxious. And so he retreated back to the toilet without any walls, and doused himself in cold water. At last, under the double barrel of mental and physical impact, he went soft. He didn’t even bother adjusting his peepee, and just dragged it as he ran to Xiaoshou’s side. Tragically, he discovered that Xiaoshou had stopped breathing.

The day Xiaoshou was buried, Gongjun cut off his peepee. He knew that his huge peepee could only ever belong to Xiaoshou. Gongjun folded his peepee carefully, and placed it together with Xiaoshou’s urn. The sky was doused in blood red with the setting sun. Gongjun turned and left, leaving the legend of a huge peepee. It was said:

Very quietly I take my leave  
More quiet than my heavy waist;  
I folded my peepee  
And said goodbye to my lover’s body.

——————————————————————————————————————

Someone asked me, after the legend was forgotten, how did Gongjun live.

I am here to update with some news.

More than ten years passed before I coincidentally met with Gongjun, and chatted with him.

Ever since then, he was always alone.

I asked: “Do you have any thoughts about the ending”

He said: “Maybe, it’s all fate.”

I asked again: “Then did you have anything you regret?”

He said: “There was this thing I always wished for, but never came true. It was that when we made love, I wanted to be able to hug him tight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem over there is a parody of an actual chinese poem. English text version over here: https://baike.baidu.com/item/%E5%86%8D%E5%88%AB%E5%BA%B7%E6%A1%A5/6212#3
> 
> I had a great struggle trying to decide between peepee and dick, because the original text provided JJ, which was chinese slang for dick. An equivalent might be peepee. Therefore second chapter is literally the same text, but i change peepee to dick.


	2. Dick ver.

Gongjun had a huge dick.

Maybe you would say that all tops have big dicks, that there are more big dicks in the world than there are cucumbers. But, this dick of Gongjun was different. It was, even more, way more, robust. 

This dick was three meters long under normal conditions, and Gong Jun usually had to wrap it around his waist, three entire rounds.

This has both its pros and cons. Let us list two examples each to prove this point.

One time, Gongjun and his bottom named Xiaoshou, lost his house key. It was then that Xiaoshou suddenly remembered that the second floor windows in their bungalow were unlocked. And so Gongjun said to Xiaoshou, let’s do it. Xiaoshou rubbed Gongjun’s dick from the start to end, like wiping a water pipe. Gongjun’s dick became even thicker and longer, Xiaoshou sat on the dick, squeezed his cheeks tight, and as Gongjun who was holding his own dick yelled ‘UP!!!’, Xiaoshou was very quickly pushed onto the second floor. A troublesome problem was solved just like this. Whenever Xiaoshou was free, his favourite game was Flying dick Chairs. He sat on Gongjun’s dick, spinning around and around, soaring high up above, like a happy little bird.

There was this other time when Xiaoshou’s ring fell in between the gaps of some equipment and the wall, and had no idea what to do, and therefore he found Gongjun. Gongjun tried to stick in all sorts of thin and narrow items, but the equipment was too big, and he still couldn’t reach it. Gongjun was silent for a while, and then he said: ‘Go lock the doors, there is nothing that’s this long. Looks like we can only use my dick.” And so, yet another troublesome problem was solved like this.

What follows would be the cons of this big dick. 

And there was this other time, Gongjun and Xiaoshou went on a rollercoaster ride at the amusement park. What Gongjun did not foresee was that he did not wrap his dick tight enough. At a giant drop, his dick came loose! Gongjun’s giant dick broke free of its reins. As the rollercoaster went up and down in its journey, his dick also flopped left and right, and ended up hitting many people! Gongjun felt a little hurt. Thus, he kept his dick back with great difficulty on the rollercoaster, and hugged it in a bundle close to his chest, and completed this arduous journey. When he came down, it was Xiaoshou who used his bag to block Gongjun’s front, and let him enter the toilets.

The last story was the ending for Gongjun and Xiaoshou. 

After some time, Gongjun discovered that his dick had grown again. There wasn’t enough space in the house to go around for Xiaoshou too. And so, he bought a new bungalow, and got people to remove all inner walls, such that all rooms are connected. Even the toilet and the kitchen was removed. The day the bungalow only had one room, Gongjun pulled Xiaoshou over to him for some good time in excitement. However, just as their business went half way through, he heard a rumbling noise, and the roof collapsed. -- Turns out, Gongjun broke the supporting wall. His mind was blank as he watched Xiaoshou, who was buried under the rubbles. His only thought was to get to his side as soon as possible. But, he couldn’t. His giant dick stopped him. He only ran a few steps before his giant dick reached the wall behind Xiaoshou, and he could no longer go a step closer to him. Gongjun was anxious, very very anxious. And so he retreated back to the toilet without any walls, and doused himself in cold water. At last, under the double barrel of mental and physical impact, he went soft. He didn’t even bother adjusting his dick, and just dragged it as he ran to Xiaoshou’s side. Tragically, he discovered that Xiaoshou had stopped breathing.

The day Xiaoshou was buried, Gongjun cut off his dick. He knew that his huge dick could only ever belong to Xiaoshou. Gongjun folded his dick carefully, and placed it together with Xiaoshou’s urn. The sky was doused in blood red with the setting sun. Gongjun turned and left, leaving the legend of a huge dick. It was said:

Very quietly I take my leave  
More quiet than my heavy waist;  
I folded my dick  
And said goodbye to my lover’s body.

——————————————————————————————————————

Someone asked me, after the legend was forgotten, how did Gongjun live.

I am here to update with some news.

More than ten years passed before I coincidentally met with Gongjun, and chatted with him.

Ever since then, he was always alone.

I asked: “Do you have any thoughts about the ending”

He said: “Maybe, it’s all fate.”

I asked again: “Then did you have anything you regretted?”

He said: “There was this thing I always wished for, but never came true. It was that when we made love, I wanted to be able to hug him tight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see: chapter 1 for end notes


End file.
